Changes

This is my 24th week which really doesnt mean anything in baby terms, my cousin Sabrina likes to tell me the baby can survive outside the womb from here on out and I can imagine it must relieve a lot of people to know that...not me. I prefer this baby inside, honestly. More convenient this way.

The women at work are pretty supportive. The wardrobe girl told me today I dont look pregnant from behind, and the younger girls try to contain their horror when they look at me. I understand their sentiment. When I first started in this business and all I cared about was work and play, a pregnant woman on set would also have freaked me out. It's the future you dont want to think about.

The guys' reactions' are mixed. Some are kind, others are overly solicitous but overall, they are all adjusting to me and now, don't even leap up to help me anymore. I feel satisfied I can change the mindset of at least 50 guys by waddling around on set. At the very least, the next pregnant female crewmember they see won't horrify them. I take liberties of course, I sit whenever I want and wherever I want (generally we stand most of the 12 hour day). No one seems to blink an eye.

Being a regular crewmember on a tv shoot crew is very different from what I am used to. Smaller set ups but longer hours. The grind is different from a movie set. On movie sets, the set ups take priority over everything - telling the story is key. On a tv show, churning out 7 pages a day is more important. Making the deadline is important. It's more of a product than being a movie will ever be. At least on a movie, everyone seems to care (or at least they pretend to more). This grind is also a much longer one - this tv show shoots until Christmas. I was on Betty for 4 months too but when you work at rigging, you are very disconnected from the show since you are there before and after the shooters are. Your hours as a rigger are nothing compared to a shooter, I am doing an average of 13-14 hours a day now.

I can't predict if this show will be good, nor do I really care. This show represents a nicer bathroom renovation and my Italy trip to me. If I can stick it out until Christmas at least 4 days a week, I might even be able to afford a new tv. We have saved enough money for the time off work I have to take and we have also saved enough for the renovation. Everything I earn now over and above my monthly expenses is bonus, in a way. It does mean a nicer crib or a more expensive sink so I'm quite keen to keep working as many days as I can.

My body changes kinda freak me out. Although my boobs are getting bigger (as evidenced by a droop I never had before), they seem to dwarf in proportion to my belly so I hardly notice. My thighs are now touching each other something they never did before and I get really breathless sometimes. I still sleep pretty soundly even though I pee 3x a night something that has improved tremendously since we bought a new bed. it's not as bad as I thought it would be though and somehow, having a planned Csection makes childbirth so much more exciting to look forward to. I can't imagine looking forward to the pain otherwise. I know, it's not the PC thing to say but it's the truth. I hope the baby doesnt think less of me as he gets older that I didnt have his head shoved down my birth canal. I think I can still be termed 'a mother' albeit a selfish one.