Met up with some friends who have newborns and it was traumatic for me. All we talked about was the babies - their development, what their feeding/sleeping schedule was like, how intelligent they looked...it went on and on.
I couldn't sleep last night because of that. Is this my fate if I stay at home? This constant obsession with the baby and its bowel movements? I don't think I can do it.
I don't like to over-mechanise child rearing but it is the trend these days in the US and it's unavoidable that mothers discuss these things, I guess but it really bothers me.
Another bother is that a friend who is due a week before me gave birth today - that gave me pause. The house is not ready at all, I havent even packed a bag! My latest fixation is being worried about giving birth to a small baby (anything less than 7 lbs) and all the things I didn't do while I was pregnant like eat prenatal vitamins or have enough omega 3. Sigh...I wonder if motherhood is good for me, as a Virgo I am constantly worrying about these things. I don't worry enough to do anything about it which is a pity but I worry.
The baby upstairs is always crying. He is almost 4 months old and has them wrapped around his finger. He doesnt nap very much and it gets him over-tired which makes it worse. Now I feel bad about every noise we make. She says I wont get a baby like that but I'm pretty sure I will - it seems like everyone has a colicky baby.
I put everything in God's hands and I am sure I will be fine. People survive and I will too. I guess I just wish the house was totally ready.
Big City
1 year ago
2 comments:
Hey, just chill... it will all be fine if you think positively. If the house is not ready, it's just not ready, that's all! no disaster, just not ready and it will be ready in a month, in 3 months, in a year but it'll be ready! everything happens for a reason so if things dont go according to plan, just try to discern what His will is! there's always a reason and I've reach a stage where I'm really curious what the plan is when things dont go according to MY plan! It's more relaxing that way and it would stop the fretting. Have faith!
Anxiety and sleepness nights are normal.
When your child looks up at you and smiles at you and gives you the look that makes you realize that you are the center of his universe, you will understand why mothers want to talk about their children and bowel movements. If you choose not to become one of those mothers, that's fine too. You will be a great mother.
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